Pages lovey (Blankey)

My daughter was attached to her "blankey" for a while before I was aware of it. One night it wasn't in her bed and she cried for it. It was a borrowed blanket that was in a pile of loaned baby stuff from a friend. Needless to say, my friend never got the blanket back. It is a hand made knitted blanket and yes Paige still sleeps with it at 35yrs. I hope that doesn't say something about my parenting style. I will take some comfort in knowing I had something to do with the mother she is today. She is a AP mother and sleeps with Blankey and her daughter now.

A VERY GOOD DAY

I am at work and well into my day at a remote drive up when my cell phone rings. I'm not suppose to answer my cell phone at work but with Dad in the hospital and juggling care for my Mother, having no customer at the moment I answer. All I can hear is traffic noise and my granddaughter screaming and my very upset son-in-law telling me that he and Aellyn have been in a car accident and that he can't reach my daughter at work. I asked if they were all right and he said he thought they were and that an ambulance was on the way. We hung up so I could try to reach my daughter at work. Needless to say I was shaking. I called her work - answering machine. I called her cell - voice mail. I closed my window after tearfully waiting on a customer and tried the calls again with no success. I was loosing my composure fast - and called back my son-in-law. He explained, a little calmer now, that he thought him and Aellyn were okay and that EMTs were their to check them out. All the time Aellyn crying very loudly in the background.

I found a co-working and tried to explain what was happening. I could hardly talk by this time and went to the lunch room to think what to do next - not thinking clearly at all. I called my husband at work and explained to him that I couldn't reach Paige at work. At some point we decided to go to them. I went to my bosses office and lost it telling him that I had to go. He was wonderful and helped me close out my work and call my husband to pick me up.

It was a 20 minute ride for him to get to me and at least a 45 minute drive to the accident. Another coworker explained that Aellyn crying was a good thing and made me realize the cry was not a painful one but a scared one. We were both dry mouthed and struggling to stay calm. Son-in-law not knowing the area could only give me names of street signs from the intersection where they were. We knew the vicinity but not the exact location. With many phone calls to family members we got my niece in front of a computer and she Google Earthed the location and gave us exact directions with maneuvers around one-way streets. We really needed a GPS system.

In the meantime Pete found a way to get word to Paige and she called us while we were driving. She sounded calm - her coworkers had made her sit and calm herself and eat an energy bar before they would let her drive - so she was just leaving for an hour drive home. At the scene we found out that they were not taken to the hospital and that the police left them on the side of the road. Car was towed away and there they were, stranded until we got to them.

Longest ride of my life - but when we arrived we saw them both standing on the sidewalk with car seat and stroller and bag waiting for us. Pete was standing and looked happy to see us. Aellyn was sitting in her stroller and we locked eyes and she was all smiles as always and then she was looking for grandpa. I held her to me and it was a happy calming moment for me. She seemed fine and we took them home. On closer inspection, she had belt bruises and burns and she was walking with a slight limp but was climbing and reaching and walking. Dad's knees were sore from hitting the dash. Mommy got home, way to fast, and we were on our way back home while they were on their way to the pediatrician to have baby checked out. We worried about neurological problems for obvious reasons.

I am writing this a week later so I can call it a very good day. Good because of seat belts and car seats. Good because of all the friends and family that helped and prayed that day. Good because Pete is fine and Aellyn is fine with no lasting damage. Good because we will have emergency numbers with us to alleviate that stress in case of future emergencies. Good because our family is intact. I have a very grateful heart. It truly was a very Good Day.

Gentle Elder Parent Care

So my focus has been divided into many slices of pie. I am juggling many more balls in the air than ever before in my life. First Ball - my immediate family: husband, household and all that goes with, grown children relationships and grandchild time. Second ball - full-time job and in the middle of trying to advance my position in said job. Third ball - Dad in the hospital: visits, caring for his garden and financial responsibilities, caring for my mom with Alzheimer disease while Dad is not there to care for her. Fourth ball - Cooking and providing meals for two households. Fifth ball - Coordinating schedules with family members who love my parents so that the care of my mother is constant while I'm at work. Other balls - Personal hair dresser, clothes coordinator, meal planner, blood tester, Insulin and meds giver. yada! yada!

I don't have time to watch my favorite tv shows or read a book but surprisingly I'm feeling good about feeling needed and being able to help my parents in their declining years. Challenging? Yes. Stressful? Yes. But I have a wonderful family who is coming together at a time of need. After all isn't that what love is.

Alzheimer disease is very sad. It is steeling my Mothers memories. She doesn't remember me when I was little. She remembers me now, though, and I am happy for that as long as it lasts.

The goal for my father's sake is to keep them out of a nursing home as long as possible. Thank God that I still have them with me.

Crunchy Grandma taking some time for herself. Okay I'm done.

Crunchy Grandma vs elder parent caregiver

I don't have time for this post, so to make it quick, I am taking care of my Mother with Alzhiemers because my Dad is in the hospital. Crunchy, gentle, caregiver to elderly parents is a whole new concept for me. I'll blog on it when I have time..........

Gentle Grand-parenting

After reading Gentle Parenting Warrior on Baby Dust Diaries I realize how widespread the notion is that babies and toddlers can be brats or spoiled. I have a friend who says her 1 year old grandson is really spoiled. Another friend says her grandchildren are brats. After seeing Gentle Parenting in practice with my granddaughter I know that her grandson is probably not having all his needs met and that the grandchildren are frustrated and angry at being controlled and disrespected.

My granddaughter is such a sweet person. She is heard and respected and in turn she is content and happy. We create environments that allow her to explore and express herself and in turn she is courageous and friendly. She has the most fun pulling all the plastic bowls and lids out of my cupboard or take all the books off the shelf. We don't teach her that she is being bad for making a mess or a nuisance for causing me a little work. We realize that she is exploring and learning and we accept her curiosity. She thinks it's the most fun to pick up the TV remote and take off just to hear Grandpa playfully threaten to come after her and then bring it right back to him.
We treat Aellyn joyfully and in turn she is full of joy.

Spread the crunch!

Gentle Discipline Warrior too.

I read a condensed version of a book in Readers Digest about a girl named Shirley that grew up with no love and guidance from a parent. Abandoned on the side of the road at six years old by her mother, separated from her brother, unloved by her father and sexually abused as payment for his drugs. At six she lured a three year old boy into the woods, tied him to a tree, and set him on fire.
As a result, she was sentenced to a mental hospital but was placed in a Special Ed class until a space opened up at the facility. This turned out to be Shirley's salvation.
The author is Tory Hayden who was the teacher in the special ed. class. She chronicled her experience with Shirley in that class in her book (One Child) but I read the rest of the story in her second book (The Tigers Child)
Tory found her to be a very bright and very neglected little girl. The story was inspiring because she was able to survive and flourish but I haven't been able to get her off my mind.

I talked to a friend today who's grandson has been abandoned by Children's Services and returned to a bad situation because "the abuse and neglect aren't BAD ENOUGH yet to keep him from his mother".

My heart aches because the world is not such a kind place for every child. Tonight I will pray for those children. What can WE do for them?

The joys of cosleeping

My first experience as a crunchy grandma (besides participating in the birth) was cosleeping with my grandaughter. When she was just a month old, we stayed all night at my daughters house to babysit so her and hubby could have a night away for their aniversary. I wasn't worried about bottle feeding the pumped momjuice or changing diapers (although I was all thumbs and out of practice) but I have to admit I was worried about sleeping in the same bed with her. Grandpa and I both slept with her between us as she was used to and it really helped that the bed was king sized. I did wake up often and listen for her breathing at first but i knew right away that there was no way we could roll over on her or hurt her. I was aware of her warm little body against my back or next to me under my arm and as she was swaddled I didnt have to worry about her being warm. I knew instinctively that she was safe next to me and I didnt have to jump out of bed to check on her in the next room. I do have to confess that I nudged her once until she squirmed just to make sure she was breathing (poor thing). she had a 12am feeding (I warmed the bottle while gpa snuggled with her) and we didn't hear from her again until almost 6am.

Gpa and I are so enjoying watching her grow. I have never seen a more contented and happy child. I am convinced that it is the crunchy life style that is shaping her emotional stability. Her needs are always met, at night she is never alone and it has caused her to be confident and inquisitive and trusting of her family. She even sat on Santas lap without fear at 10 months old. Her parents are supportive of her every moment and We are very proud.

Crunch on!